How do you “be a mommy”?
Before I had our little one I felt I had
that ‘motherly instinct’ – whatever that means!
I always caught myself saying “my kids” at work (being a prep teacher, I
had A LOT of kids!) and loved spoiling my nieces and nephew. At family picnics my husband and I were the
babysitters – playing on the water trampoline, chasing the little cousins
around until we tired them out and then smirked and high fived! Adults one – kids asleep!
When time came, I found myself saying “Sure,
of course we’re ready for a baby.” in a nonchalant tone. When the line turned pink… Full panic mode set
in. WHAT WERE WE THINKING?
I asked my cousin a while ago if the
constant feeling of fear and worry ever faded or goes away. Her response was simple. She laughed and said “no”.
I’m reminded of Rachel of Friends when she has baby Emma. You read all these books on pregnancy and
taking care of yourself, on birth and your growing baby, but somewhere between
constantly eating, then throwing what you just ate up, going to the bathroom a
gazillion time a day, and trying to find an ounce of energy, you neglect to
read what to do when you come home with that bundle of joy! And in making my way to the bookstore and
stock piling an armful of parenting manuals, let me confess that they’re all in
mind condition because there’s no time to read them once you have your little
one.
I admit I’m the crazy mom. I thought I’d be relaxed, calm and
collected. Nope! I’m that mom who is always late carrying a
box of Ritz cheese crackers as a lunch (I found them in the car… When you’re hungry, you make do!). I’m the wife that told her husband, “We have
to move! Our house is a death trap” when
it came time to baby proof.
Motherhood is a scary roller coaster – one I’ve
learned to embrace in all its glory. I’ve
come to accept that I might look and feel like a mess. I’ve come to learn that if you don’t have it
in your diaper bag, someone else will happily hand whatever it is you need
over. And there will come a day when you
just might have ‘it’ all together and people comment on how you are so
organized (with a smile and relief, you then realize you’re getting better at
this mommy thing!).
My lesson number 1: Never ever leave the house without
wipes! Stash them EVERYWHERE – car,
purse, bags… I mean it, everywhere!
M
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